The Trainwreck Express

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I was originally planning to talk about lonliness. But when I was looking for a quote/photo, I found this. And I had to share it.

I’m a mess. I have been for years, probably for longer than I realize. And you wanna know a secret? I hate it. I hate always feeling like the screw up of the family, or the charity case. I hate having to ask for help, because I’m a burden on everyone else. I don’t deserve to ask for anything.

The hardest part of being a total mess is knowing you deserve to be okay. You deserve to be happy. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it. And it is okay to accept that help, guilt free. I’m not there yet. I’m slowly coming to grips that I need others for support. And that means physical, tangible things as well as emotional.

Emotional support and love is one of the things I need the most. I know I have friends and family who want to be supportive in this shitty setback (transition?) I’m stuck in the middle of. But how do you show a loved one that you’re there for them? Just remember that every word and action is analyzed a thousand times. Someone who’s depressed or struggling automatically assumes you hate them as much as they hate themselves. They’re going to jump to the conclusion that you’re disappointed or angry or frustrated with them because those are the feelings they are dwelling on inside. And for me, it makes me feel isolated. I’ll start to withdraw from everyone. And sometimes I just need to be alone. It’s part of being an introvert and having anxiety. Sometimes people are just too much! But communicating clearly, giving your friend space and just doing your best to support them is all we ask.

Just please don’t remind us we’re a trainwreck. We know.

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